Breathing
by Dreamseer VeeTee
Summary: Vegeta is visited by Bulma one night, and speaks to her of his painful past.


Disclaimer's Note:  I don't own DBZ, Vegeta is another story however, ^____^()

    The song is Breathing by Lifehouse. 

Vegeta lay silently out underneath the blanket of stars that covered the vast black sky.  The sky looked perfect on a night like tonight.  The sky was so dark that each star was illuminated perfectly. If there had been a moon, it would have hung center-stage, shining in its glory.  

            The Prince was lying with his hands tucked underneath his head.  His face looked peaceful, his eyes shut, and lips opened slightly in a relaxed way.  A gentle breeze ran over his body, making his hair sway slightly.

            _I'm finding my way back to sanity again_

_            Though I don't know what I'm gonna do when I get there_

_            I take a breath and hold on tight_

He was outside alone for the moment. Vegeta wasn't truly why he had wanted to come outside and just lie there.  It certainly wasn't his normal style.   

            Bulma had thrown one of her usual little party-dinner things for their friends and family.  Vegeta had been debating with Trunks over some issue, something his mind couldn't remember now, when he had felt a sudden need to be alone.  It was such a sudden urge; he couldn't deny himself the peacefulness of being outside under the sky on such a majestic night.

            _Spin around one more time_

_            And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace_

_            'Cause I am hanging on every wore you're saying_

A sudden shadow appeared over the Saiyan.  He didn't see her, but her scent intoxicated him. He smirked as he felt the tiny human lay down next to him.

            Vegeta peered open one eye, to see Bulma cuddling next to him.  

            He was surprised.  She was still in the new dress that she had been bragging about all evening.  It was a pretty midnight blue that had straps, and hugged her every perfect curve.

            "Vegeta?" she whispered in her perfect voice. 

            _Even if you don't wanna speak tonight      _

_            That's alright, alright with me_

_            'Cause I want nothing more then to sit outside Heaven's door_

Vegeta shut both his eyes again and just drew her closer to him, enjoying how close their bodies were. 

            However, she was holding something against the time of them.

            He opened both his eyes this time, and peered at her.

            Bulma was holding a single white carnation.

            "For you, my Prince." she whispered, slipping it behind his ear.

            _And listen to you breathing_

_            It's where I wanna be, yeah_

_            Where I wanna be_

He kissed her softly on the lips.

            "Why?" he asked in his naturally rough voice.

            "It's an anniversary." Bulma replied quietly.

            Vegeta's mind raced around for a moment, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember anything.

            He felt the carnation tug against his hair, as though urging him to think, but still nothing came to him.

            _I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth_

_            And I'm trying to identify the voices in my head_

"It's okay if you don't remember." Bulma spoke as though reading his mind. "You've probably tried to forget this one."

            Vegeta studied her for a few moments, loving her more every instant.

            He gently slipped a strand of her blue hair behind her ear.

            "But it's important to you." he stated.

            Bulma nodded, drawing herself closer to Vegeta, resting her head on his chest.

            "It's the day you came to Earth..."

            _Go wish won't you_

_            Let me feel one more time what it feels like to feel_

_            And break those calluses off me one more time_

Vegeta's entire body tensed.  Bulma could feel him, drawing away from her.

            "No, Vegeta... I love you." she whispered, drawing him closer. "Let it go."

            Vegeta shut his eyes, the pain overwhelming him for a moment.  A single tear ran down his cheek. Bulma wiped it gently away with her thumb.

            _'Cause I am hanging on every work you're saying_

_            Even if you don't wanna speak tonight_

"I thank all my lucky stars every night that you came into my life Vegeta, because... I love you so much. You're so much sweet, and nicer then you give yourself credit for Vegeta." Bulma whispered, a tear roaming down her cheek now.

            "You don't know..." Vegeta answered, sitting up now.  

            He pulled up his knees, perching his elbows on them.  He rested his head in his palms. An image of defeat.

            _That's alright, alright with me_

_            'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside of your door_

"Tell me than."  Bulma said, sitting up also, and gently touching the Prince's hand.

            Vegeta looked up at her, his obsidian black eyes looking sad and pleading.

            "I don't want to hurt you.  You're so... perfect and innocent." Vegeta whispered, gently touching her face with his gloved hand.

            Bulma rested her face against this hand, and brought bother her hands up to touch his hand once more.

            "You won't hurt me Vegeta.  I could never stop loving you.  I gave you my heart completely a long time ago."

            _It's where I wanna be, yeah_

_            Oh I don't want a thing from you_

"I hated Frieza." Vegeta's voice suddenly came, as he stared off into the distance. "I always hated Frieza."

            Bulma gripped Vegeta's hand tightly, encouraging him.

            "The Saiyans... we weren't always viscious killers.  Yes, we were always trained to be high-standard fighters, but killing thousands of innocent people that we had no quarrel with at all?  That's insanity. That's pure hatred."

            Vegeta's eyes flashed a dangerous color.

            "Before Frieza, things were pretty good.  My family was pretty nice... I had two older sisters... and a younger brother."

            He looked up at Bulma.

            _Bet you're tired of me waiting for_

_            The scraps to fall of off your table to the ground_

"My mother was never a fighter.  Always gentle and loving. My father was strong and a big fighter... He was a good ruler.  When Frieza took control was when everything changed. Our people were forced to slaughter children and women for no cause other then a monster's greed... When I was taken to Frieza's ship... I think that was one of the times I was more afraid in my entire life. I was terrified.  Of course then, I didn't know that only a little bit later my entire race would be annihilated, save a handful of warriors... It was after the planet was destroyed that things got rough.  Trainings were no longer trainings.  They became beatings.  There was a constant fear of..." Vegeta's voice broke for a moment.

            "You can stop if you want." Bulma spoke, hugging Vegeta close to her.

            _La da da da_

_            'Cause I just wanna be here now_

"No." Vegeta spoke firmly, and took a deep breath.

            "There was a constant fear of being raped.  Dodoria, Zarbon, even Frieza would take me at their pleasure."

            Bulma's grasp tightened hard on the Saiyan's hand.  She had never known... 

            His pain was emitting powerfully strong now.

            "I had to hole up my emotions or they would use them against me.  I had to become tough on the outside, emotionless.  I thought I was saving my self, my soul.  I was destroying my soul slowly."

            _'Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying_

_            Even if you don't wanna speak tonight_

"It wasn't until I came here to Earth, and Raditz was killed, and I killed Nappa... That I realized what I had become. I was a monster, just as bad as Frieza, or Dodoria, or Zarbon.  Millions of innocent children's blood rested on my hands alone.  And I had convinced myself not to care.  I made myself not care enough so that I thought it was okay to kill the man that had become a substitute father to me.  That was what Nappa was to me.  He protected me from Frieza whenever he could.  His soul became bitter in the end though too.  Just like me..."

            _That's alright, alright with me_

_            'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door_

"I didn't want to be a monster anymore." Vegeta turned and stared into Bulma's sapphire eyes.

            "I've tried to change that, but it doesn't change how many lives I've destroyed.  The blood that has soaked into my skin. The families I've ripped apart, the orphans I've created.  How many did I drag into Frieza's service and make like me? How many I wonder are alive now, regretting that they had even been born, because they were made so warped?"

            Vegeta looked away from Bulma again.                

            "I can't erase these sins.  I will always be a monster.  I will always be impure." Vegeta whispered.

            _And listen to you breathing_

_            It's where I wanna be, yeah_

"Oh God, Vegeta." Bulma whispered.  "You're tainted at all. Do you know why?"

            Vegeta looked at Bulma.

            "Frieza didn't regret his killing and destroying it.  He enjoyed it.  That's what sets you aside from being evil, and makes you stand in the light of goodness. You're repented and atoned for the sins you committed in your past.  While they will always stand like a shadow in your past... You've created a new path for yourself.  You have saved the entire universe more the once.  Without you, we'd all be dead."

            Bulma pulled Vegeta close to her, and the couple began to cry together, rocking back and forth.

            _Where I wanna be_

_            'Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying_

"I love you Bulma.... You're the first thing I didn't screw up in my life."  Vegeta whispered, stroking her cheek tenderly.

            They kissed, Bulma's velvety skin running against Vegeta's silky skin.

            They stayed their on the ground, holding each other for a moment, and then broke apart.

            _Even if you don't wanna speak tonight      _

_            That's alright, alright with me_

"Bulma! Vegeta!" a suddenly over cheerful voice called to them.

            The couple looked up to see Goku standing at the door.

            "Are you two ever coming back in?"

            There were laughs from the inside.

            Bulma stood up, brushing off her dress, and offered her hand to Vegeta.  He accepted it, and stood next to his mate.

            She stared at the white gloves on his hands for a moment, and then gently peeled them off.

            "You don't need to hide your hands anymore.  Just like you don't need to hide your soul.  Neither have committed any wrongs."

            _'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door_

_            And listen to you breathing _

"Are you guys coming or what?" Goku yelled again.

            "Shut up Kakarott!" Vegeta yelled back.  "No we're not!"

            Bulma looked at Vegeta surprised.

            "Where are we going?"

            "Well since you gave them free reign to our house, we need some place where we won't be disturbed." Vegeta smirked, picking Bulma off her feet.

            There was more laughter from the inside of the house.

            Vegeta kicked off the ground, holding Bulma tight to him, and raced into the stars.

            _It's where I wanna be, yeah_

_            Where I wanna be_     

Author's Note: Nice, short Bulma/Vegeta. ^_________^ Review or email at vegetaztwin@hotmail.com.


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